my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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