she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
