Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
