I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
