Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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