Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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