New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
