My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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