I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
