The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
