24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
