How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
