He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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