Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
