She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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