next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
