Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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