Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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