Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
