We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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