You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
MIDGETS
????
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
