i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
