I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
