I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
