I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
