seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
