um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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