In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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