OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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