And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I will be naked everywhere
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
