Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My cat gives me a boner
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
