I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
