Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
