is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
