I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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