they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
