her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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