just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
