everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
