and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
