its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
