i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
