They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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