remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That accounts for only three of the penises
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
