Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
