too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
