Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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