last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
