Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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