You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
