the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
